First, thank you again for your concern and your love. Love is truly the answer to every question. Second, yes, you are just fine without me! :-) I say this with humor but honesty. The fact is that Star Nations does not invest in missions where one person's failure or success make or break situations. Asheoma taught me that lesson and it is truth. The way they work is that there are many parts to everything they work. If one part fails, there ARE other parts to step into place. And all the parts are valuable and share in the karma of success for the mission.
Sometimes people may spend their whole lives waiting for something... they are not sure what it is, but there is a sense of needing to be prepared. Then they may pass into the next life "without every doing anything" (in their own eyes). The truth though is that they might have been a backup for something else being done. If they had been needed, they would have stepped up to the plate. And somewhere along the path that person has a backup as well. They might even be backup for many different missions. Or they might be needed for only a short time to step in and do what is needed.
This is the way Star Nations works on a daily level. This is a very good and healthy way of service. And thank Source for those who do stand in the wing - ready and able to take the lead if they are needed. Those people are the ones who actually make it possible for Star Nations to get anything done at all. And with the way the cabal works, the Star Nations has tons of Star Seeds in these standby roles or in service for very select missions which may only take a few days or a few years to do. If you are such a person, you serve and accomplish what you may never touch or understand in this Human form. But you serve and Source knows and the "credit" for the missions accomplished are yours as much as they are the hands that are honored to do the work.
My hands were just the ones that had the honor of service for what Asheoma had to do. And yes, Asheoma told me there were several others who were indeed born with a Star Being Watcher who was a witness who could have done the same job if our team failed. And yes, there were others who were capable of being the Councillor of Earth if our Councillor Doctor Boylan had been defeated by the Cabal. LOL - like they stood a chance! Anyway... my point is to remind others of the true way the Star Nations works. And even so, the Star Nations knew I would need to go through a time of healing after Asheoma was done with his part. They had Star Sister Fran ready and willing for her invaluable service. She has stepped up and our Councillor of Earth has not missed a beat on his daily and usually hourly defense of Star Nations and service to Earth. (( Yes, there is much that goes on behind the scenes that could NEVER be put onto a public format because of the delicate nature of those items. It is not to hide anything from others, and Councillor Boylan shares when he is able to do so. )) So now it is time to heal.
I said I would share my healing, and so I will. For those who may not know of the years of dialogue on Doctor Boylan's group, I will summarize. Please do not at this time ask me to go into details. I have shared countless examples and details in the past - and they are only shared on this group. So if you want to know those details, just take a stroll through the archives. So this is going to be a black and white summary. I call it that because I am working through releasing the emotional attachment for many of these details. So I am focusing on facts. If I sound detached, it is intentional from this end.
A year ago, Asheoma had me ask Source for a healer who would be a Star Seed and who would be able to understand what most in the mental health profession would not be able to grasp. This was granted and I believe I am in the very best professional care I could be under. In fact, it is known to us that the Thunderbird is the symbol for the Star Nations. And Two Thunderbirds, well that has a very special meaning to some of us :-) This healer I have now actually had two thunderbirds perch themselves right outside of his former office in another area of town. Asheoma knew I had to have a healer in my area due to my own reasons. The two thunderbirds showed up right before the healer made a move into the area where he was needed. Now I am not saying that move was just for me... not at all. But I was his first client at his new location. What I can say is that Star Nations has a very deep commitment to those who serve in light and love. And for them to make this match - well I think the sign of the Two Thunderbirds perched on those columns and looking at this Healer - well I think that was Star Nations way of saying "We do care."
The basic facts of what is going on with me is this:
1) Cabal early "training" of me began with a first trauma personality split while I was in my last life in Vietnam. I have only recently figured out this key item.
2) Asheoma and the Star Nations asked me to serve by allowing Asheoma to join with my energy system for this life. They knew what had been done to me and advised that I would go through much more at the hands of the cabal. They said that I would be able to have Asheoma to help in teaching me the Star Nations ways if I allowed this partnership. As I would have been in Cabal hands regardless of my choice, I said yes to Star Nations offer. And I thank them for that help as I would not be able to work in light at all if they had not done what they did.
3) I was not the only one who was abused by Cabal in this way. They had a project in Vietnam to track the souls of soldiers who had been killed by friendly fire. The soldiers were targeted in their next life and began training right away. In my case, I was raped at the age of 2 1/2. This initial trauma resulted in the disassociation that they had prepared me for in the last life. Abuse continued until the age of 10.
4) Personal cabal "training" was done to me in order to form me into one of their slaves. With the help of Asheoma, I was able to fight this systematic brain washing and maintain enough distance and self identity that I was not lost to the system - as I know many were.
5) I was told in college by a counselor that he thought I had multiple personality disorder. However, he insisted that Asheoma was one of my alternate personalities. I spend many years in consultation with him, but he never understood the difference between who Asheoma was and who the true alternate personalities were within my "system."
6) After Asheoma left my body, he told me I would need to "clean house" for myself. It was very painful to have Asheoma leave. He had been a rock to me and a voice of reason in a very chaotic mind. That is why he knew he had to leave. The cabal had taken a soul and shattered it intentionally. It was not right. It was not fair. But regardless, it would have been done anyway even if Star Nations had not asked me to help. Thankfully, I did get the help of Star Nations and so I owed it to Star Nations to do the hard work of healing... and furthermore to openly share what is deeply personal and could be very embarrassing to share. I do it because I owe Asheoma to tell the truth about this. It is NOT about my healing. It is about what Cabal did to a Human. And it is about the love of the Star Nations to step in and help Humans overcome the cabal. And it is about the fact that Star Nations does not just up and leave someone who helps them out... I might have thought that was what happened to me when Asheoma left... but that is not the truth.
7) I do have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Asheoma was NOT an alternate personality. Asheoma is a Star Being and talks to many other people - and shows up from time to time as a blue light. Asheoma is full of love and one of the most wonderful friends I have ever known in any life. My alternate personalities are me and I know that. But thanks to Cabal, I was shattered into a few different pieces. Thankfully, the healing work Asheoma helped me with for the 8 yrs of college time allowed me to function as a productive member of society.
8) After Asheoma left, I was forced to deal with certain parts of my own personality which were the most damaged by the Cabal. In the past years, as stress came up, Asheoma was always there to coach me through the challenges. With the challenges of the past two years, I have had to rely on remembering what Asheoma said... and I wish I had been a better student at times! But this is exactly what I needed to do, and Asheoma knew that. The only way for me to heal my broken soul is for me to do the work I am doing now.
It is not easy work. It is very painful at times. And I have many more hours ahead of me when I will not want to do this work. It is the same as someone who has been in a car wreck.... except others don't always see the broken bones inside the kids damaged by the cabal. It was not my fault that I was broken. I did nothing wrong that resulted in my personality splitting. Just as it may not be the fault of someone who is in a wreck. But I have a goal... And although stretching the damaged muscles may hurt, I have the best mental health therapist for the job. Star Nations saw to that! And I have taken my healing into my own hands. I will dance again one day soon.... as one healthy mind and a healed and WHOLE soul.